2 Queer Eyes

Mark was heading for the door when he remembered something. Cologne! He needed to spray on some cologne. Not that he smelled badly, he just wanted to smell better. After spraying on some cologne, he took one last look at the mirror, observed himself and headed for the door. “This is it!” he said, uncertain of how things were going to turn out.

               There was something different about that night. Not that the streets looked different. It was like how it always looked: adequately lit, eerily quiet, and cold — very cold. Why he did not bring a jacket, he could not explain to himself either. Maybe he was just nervous. It is definitely my nerves, he managed a thought.

               It was also pretty late for someone like him to be out on the streets. Especially with the recent incidents of crime going around the neighborhood, the streets would be the last place he would want to find himself in.

               But tonight was different. Tonight, he was going to do it.  And as he was making his way through the streets, he realized how far he had been from his house. It was 11:59 and the night could not get any younger.  There was no turning back this time — or was there?

I hope I finish this one too. I’m currently on the sixth page. So much for being a short story. Still got a lot of editing to do. But you know what they say, “writing is rewriting.”..:)

I wrote this when I was still head-over-heels on this certain guy. We used to be friends. I just don’t know what happened or what I did that he started ignoring me. I just feel sad because of the lost friendship. Anyways, I ignore him too so I guess we’re even.

But anyways, enjoy the essay. Here it goes…

               It’s raining again and yes, as usual, I’m feeling quite lonely and sad. I really don’t know what it is with the weather and my heart that it seems to be connected in such a weird way that my heart reflects whatever the weather might be. That is why every time it starts to rain I could expect to have a heavy heart for as long as the sky would want to cry and let its tears keep falling to the ground. But since I have mentioned about the rain and my heart, I guess it’s just proper for me to share a little bit about the things that I feel and the thoughts that come to my mind every time it starts to rain.

               Well recently, I’ve been having this “mad” crush on this freshman that I’ll be hiding under the name “Long ‘Your Abs Look Photoshoped’ Man”.

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“…to all those men and boys I have had this ‘thing’ for, there is this ‘something’ to them that seems to scream more than friendship to me every time I get the chance to play with them. Not that it is something malicious or anything but a voice seems to tell me that boys are not just supposed to be friends; that relationships with them did not have to end with just friendships and that it could possibly be something way more than that…”

“I could never really tell when it all happened but I could certainly remember when it all began. And as far as I could remember, having lived for the past 18 years of my life, I can most certainly assure you that it was not just recently. In fact, I believe I have had it ever since I was born. As if it was a part of my identity hidden in the deepest realms of my subconscious waiting for the right moment to be awakened. Like an animal’s killer instincts: one is born with it but it takes time for the animal to actually realize it has it inside.”

This is one of the essays I’ve been wanting to finish and I am currently on the second page. Hope I actually finish it.

It has actually been a while since I’ve last posted in my Tumblr. I guess it’s mostly because I have been lacking the inspiration to write anything, I think it’s called a writer’s block. I mean, Tumblr is not like Fceboook that you just write good morning or good night and call it a post. Or maybe it can be like that, but I just don’t think it is. So here I am, so frustrated about not being able to do a passion very well, writing about how I can’t write anything about everything. I just hope it goes away and that it goes away soon so that I can enjoy myself again. Because for me, I write for pleasure and if I can’t write then NO pleasure….:(

“It’s our imperfections that make us who we are; that make us stand out from all the rest. So be proud of you’re imperfections, because it only means you’re human.”